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Helping Your Child Succeed In School
with activities for children aged 5 through 11

Introduction

What is the earliest memory you have of being in school?

How do you feel about your years in school? If you have happy memories, chances are you can help your children be excited about learning and have good memories, too. If you disliked school, it's harder, but you can do lots of things to help make school a better experience for your children than it was for you.

The good news is that every child in every family has the power to succeed in school and in life, and every parent, grandparent, and caregiver can help.

But how do we help our children succeed? How do we give them the power? The most important thing we can do is be involved with our children's education even before they are in school, then stay involved once they are in school.

This book is about what we can do in our own homes, right now, that will help our children go to school wanting to learn. It includes:

Success in school takes hard work, planning, a few basic skills, and the will to want to succeed. How do we pass these ideas on to our children?

What we know about success in school is a combination of common sense mixed with new ideas about learning.

We do know the following:

Now, how do we take these facts and turn them into ways to help our children do well in school?

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The Basics

Where Our Children Learn

  1. At Home

    It's no surprise to anyone that children need time with their parents. And even though most parents are extremely busy, whether they work outside of the home or not, they do find time to spend with their children. But they want that time to count in helping prepare their children for the world they will find outside the home.

    What counts most is what we say and do at home, not how rich or poor we are or how many years of school we have finished. When children can count on getting attention at home, they have a greater sense of security and self-worth. This will help them do better not only in school, but also when they grow up.

    If you think about it, school, while very important, does not really take up very much time. In the United States, the school year averages 180 days; in other industrialized nations, the school year can extend up to 240 days, and students are often in school more hours per day. So, the hours and days a child is not in school are important for learning, too.

    Communicating. This is probably the most important activity we can do in our home, and it doesn't cost anything. Ask questions, listen for answers. These are no-cost, high-value things to do.

    Think of conversation as being like a tennis game with talk, instead of a ball, bouncing back and forth. Communication can happen any time, any place--in the car, on a bus, at mealtime, at bedtime.

    When our children enter and continue school with good habits of communication, they are in a position to succeed--to learn all that has to be learned, and to become confident students.

    Starting early. Here are some things you can do when your children are young:

    • Let them see you read, and read to them and with them. Visit the library. If they are old enough, make sure they have their own card. Keep books, magazines, and newspapers around the house.
    • Keep pencils and paper, crayons, and washable markers handy for notes, grocery lists, and schoolwork. Writing takes practice, and it starts at home.
    • Teach children to do things for themselves rather than do the work for them. Patience when children are young pays off later.
    • Help children, when needed, to break a job down into small pieces, then do the job one step at a time. This works for everything--getting dressed, a job around the house, or a big homework assignment.
    • Develop, with your child, a reasonable, consistent schedule of jobs around the house. List them on a calendar, day by day.
    • Every home needs consistent rules children can depend on. Put a plan into action, and follow through.
    • Give each child an easy-to-reach place in which to put things away.
    • Set limits on TV viewing so that everyone can get work done with less background noise.
    • Watch TV with your children and talk about what you see.

    Handling homework. These are the messages to get across to your children about homework:

    • Education is important. Homework has to be done. Let children know that this is what you value.
    • Try to have a special place where each child can study.
    • Help your children plan how to do all the things they need to do--study, work around the house, play, etc.
    • Let your children know that you have confidence in them. Remind them of specific successes they have had in the past perhaps in swimming, soccer, cooking, or in doing a difficult homework assignment.
    • Don't expect or demand perfection. When children ask you to look at what they've done--from skating a figure 8 to a math assignment--show interest and praise them when they've done something well. If you have criticisms or suggestions, make them in a helpful way.

    The time we spend exchanging ideas at home with our children is vitally important in setting the tone, the attitudes, and the behaviors that make the difference in school.

  2. In the Community

    In many parts of our nation, the ties among neighbors have been weakened. For the sake of our children, they need to be rebuilt, and you can help. Be sure to introduce your children to your neighbors. You might even try a "child watch" program where adults who are home during the day keep an eye out for children when they walk to and from school and stand at bus stops.

    Some schools are helping families connect with the community by, for example, becoming centers for social services as well as for education. Getting to know your child's school can help you, in a very real way, get to know a major part of your community. It can also help you build a network of wider community support for your family.

  3. At School

    Parents can become involved with the schools in several different ways, by working with children at home, volunteering, sharing information, and helping to make policy. We need to remember that what works in one community (or for one family) may not necessarily work in another.

    It may no longer be possible for parents to volunteer as often for school activities. However, working with children at home and sharing information with the school are two things all parents can do.

    The section after the activities, "Parents and the Schools," has some suggestions on how to get the most out of talking to your child's teacher. Many teachers say they rarely receive information from parents about problems at home. Many parents say they don't know what the school expects of their child. Sharing information is essential, and both teachers and parents are responsible for making it happen.

    With our help, our children can become confident students, able to handle the challenges of school. This means:

    • Talking with our children about the value of hard work and about the importance of education;
    • Talking about what's happening in school;
    • Reading report cards and messages that come from school;
    • Going to school and meeting with teachers;
    • Taking part in school events when you can; and
    • Finding out about resources in the community.

What Our Children Learn From Us

Sometimes we think that all our children need to know to be ready to start school are the ABCs and how to count. The reality is that most children can learn these things pretty fast once they get to school. What they do need--and what you can give--is the message that education is valuable: through education, people can shape their own future.

So, talk about learning, share the fun and excitement of new skills. Show your children that you are always learning, too. Read aloud, play games, and talk about events around the block and around the world.

Children tend to follow the examples set for them. When we say one thing and do another, children watch and learn. When we practice what we preach, children watch and learn.

The bottom line is that when we give our children the support and information they need, and expect them to do well, they do better in school and in life.

How Our Children Learn From Us

Children need active, even noisy, learning as well as quiet learning such as reading. Active learning includes asking and answering questions (and trying to get more than just "yes" or "no" answers); solving problems; and discussing a variety of topics.

Active learning can also take place when a child plays sports, spends time with friends, or goes to a museum or zoo. The active learning suggestions in the next section will help you think of even more things for you and your children to do.

Limit TV watching. Watching TV is an example of a quiet activity that children can learn from, but one that is a problem in almost every home. We know that children who watch a lot of TV learn less and get lower grades than students who watch little TV. And in international comparisons, U.S. students rank high in watching TV, but are near the bottom in doing homework. The result is that U.S. students know less than those in other countries.

Encourage active learning. What can we do? We can listen to our children's ideas and respond to them. We can let them jump in with questions and opinions when reading books together. When this type of give-and-take between parent and child happens at home, a child's participation and interest in school increases.

What Messages To Send

Three of the important messages our children need about success in school can be sent by:

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Activities

There is no one "right" way of doing these activities. Make changes, shorten or lengthen them to suit your child's attention span, or think up some activities of your own. Above all, enjoy them. And don't worry about what you might not have done in the past. Start where you are now, with the resources you have now.

In a box at the end of each activity is information on why that activity is important to your child's education. The suggested activities all build skills, attitudes, and behaviors children need for good study habits. They are designed to help develop personal maturity, enthusiasm for learning, and the ability to concentrate.

But that does not mean the activities are hard to do and won't be any fun. They are easy to do, cost little or no money, use materials found at home, and don't take much time.

Work out your own schedule for the activities. Don't forget to try them on vacation days or in the summer, too. If you've only used one part of an activity, you can go back to it and find the ideas you haven't tried. Experience indicates that all of the activities, in whole or in part, will be useful. Ability in schoolwork is like ability in sports: it takes practice to gain confidence, to become motivated, and to win.

Age Levels

The activities are arranged by approximate age levels. But, of course, you are the best judge of what your child may be ready to try.

Ages 5-7
The activities for these early school years focus on helping children get ready for schoolwork and get a head start on the habits and behaviors important for ongoing success in school.
Ages 7-9
These activities help children become organized and build early study skills and work habits.
Ages 9-11
These projects for children in the upper elementary grades continue to focus on work and study habits, with more emphasis on making personal decisions.

Remember:

Let's Go

Pick an activity and try it with your children. You will know they are learning when they say, "Let me try it." And you'll know they understand when they shout: "Let me do it! Let me! Let me."

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Can You Top This?

Teamwork is important in school. In this game, children practice taking turns and working with others. They also build language skills.

What you'll need

What to do

By making up stories, children can improve their language skills. They can also start to understand how ideas flow from one to another, and that everyone's ideas are important.

Listen Up

This game helps teach how to listen carefully and follow directions, two things that are important in school.

What you'll need

What to do

Through practice, children can learn to listen carefully, see and hear details, and follow directions.

Time Marches On

This game will help your children see the difference between "a few seconds" and "a few minutes," and can help them be on time in school.

What you'll need

What to do

Learning that some things take longer than others will help your child understand how long it takes to do a task and how to plan for it. This activity will also help them increase their attention span.

Now You See It, Now You Don't

This activity teaches children to pay close attention by seeing how long it takes different kinds of liquids to freeze and melt.

What you'll need

What to do

This activity can help your child understand that things don't happen immediately. It will also introduce the concept of change--liquid to solid to liquid again--and the idea of having to wait to get the result you want.

Start to Finish

Organization has to be learned. This activity lets children practice planning, beginning, and finishing a job--important parts of completing schoolwork.

What you'll need

What to do

Sometimes taking time to plan seems like "a waste of time," but it has been shown that those who plan a job are usually more successful and do it in a shorter amount of time.

Seeing the changes from not watering a plant can introduce the idea of "cause and effect."

I'm OK, We're OK

All of us have ways in which we are special. This activity helps children recognize and appreciate how they, and others, are special.

What you'll need

What to do

Self-confidence can make a difference in how much success a person has, both at school and later in life.

Talking about what happened during the day lets children work out problems early instead of having them pile up and become overwhelming.

Where Did I Put That?

Children need help getting organized. A special place for school items helps make mornings smoother for parents and children.

What you'll need

What to do

Keeping all school items in one place helps teach children how much easier life can be when we are organized and plan ahead.

Show your appreciation when your child keeps things in order.

My Place

This activity gives each child a separate place to study or play.

What you'll need

What to do

Watch for improvement and show pleasure when quality of work improves.

Children tend to argue over the same space (even in a big room). By having an area of the floor marked off, each child has a place that feels like his or her own. A special place also helps children focus on what they are studying.

Well Done!

Children need the experience of doing chores. The following are ideas to help children be more responsible and realize the importance of people doing what they say they will do.

What you'll need

What to do

Children need to learn early how others are affected when chores-are not done. Talk about why it is necessary to do things we don't want to do, and why we should not expect others to do our work.

This activity also gives children an early lesson in how to make good decisions.

How Time Flies

"I don't have time to do all I need time to do." Sound familiar? Planning our time is one of the most useful things we can learn. Knowing how long something will take can save time and tempers.

What you'll need

What to do

Being on time, or not being on time, affects other people. It is important for children to understand their responsibility for being on time--it's not just for grown-ups.

Homework Made Easy(!)

Homework without nagging is much to be desired. Have your child try a homework chart.

What you'll need

What to do

A homework chart can show exactly what needs to be done when, and gives a feeling of accomplishment when an assignment is crossed off.

Talk to your child about homework. Does your child need or want more time or help? Does your child want to devote more time to learning about a certain subject?

Divide It Up

Just about anything is easier to do if it's divided into smaller pieces. As assignments get longer and more complicated, more organizing and planning skills are needed.

What you'll need

What to do

This trick of dividing big jobs into small pieces helps make all jobs easier and can save a lot of wear and tear on everyone when it's time to hand in a school assignment.

Help Wanted

Older students are interested in life beyond school. You can help them have a realistic sense of what's out there.

What you'll need

What to do

Remember that there will be many new kinds of jobs in the future. What children--and adults, too-need to do is be flexible and keep on learning.

How Can I Get Help?

We need to think about more than our own interests and ask "How can I help others?"

What you'll need

What to do

Taking part in community activity can not only help others, but can also help your child make new friends and learn new skills.

TV Time

Decide how you are going to use TV. Watching television can be educational or something we do in our spare time.

What you'll need

What to do

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Parents and the Schools

Q: When should I talk with my child's teacher?
Early and often. Contact the teacher at the beginning of the year or as soon as you can. Get acquainted and show your interest.

Let teachers know what they need to know about your child. If your child has special needs, make these known right from the beginning.

If you notice a big change in your child's behavior or attitude, contact the teacher immediately.

The teacher should tell you before the end of a grading period if your child is having trouble; keeping parents informed is an important function of the school.

Remember, parents and teachers work together to help children want to learn and to help them gain self-confidence and self-discipline.

Q: How do I get the most out of parent-teacher conferences?
Be prepared to listen as well as to talk. It helps to write out questions before you leave home. Also jot down what you want to tell the teacher. Be prepared to take notes during the conference and ask for an explanation if you don't understand something.

In conferences, the teacher should offer specific details about your child's work and progress. If your child has already received some grades, ask what went into them. Ask how your child is being evaluated.

Discuss your child's talents, skills, hobbies, study habits, and any special sensitivities such as concern about weight or speech difficulties.

Tell the teacher if you think your child needs special help. Tell the teacher about any special family situation, such as a new baby, an illness, or a recent or upcoming move. It is important to tell the teacher about things in your children's lives that might affect their ability to learn.

Ask about specific ways to help your child at home. Try to have an open mind.

At home, think about what the teacher has said and then follow up. If the teacher has told you your child needs to improve in certain areas, check back in a few weeks to see how things are going.

Parents and teachers are partners in helping children.

Q: What if I don't have time to volunteer as much as I would like?
Even if you can't volunteer to do work at the school building, you can help your child learn when you are at home. The key question is, "What can every parent do at home, easily and in a few minutes a day, to reinforce and extend what the school is doing?" This is the involvement every family can and must provide.

The schools also need to take steps so parents feel good about what they're doing at home and know they are helping.

What we as parents need to care about is involving ourselves in our children's education outside of school.

Remember, you can encourage your child to work hard. You can give your child the power to succeed in school.

Notes

This book is based on studies; on materials developed and copyrighted by the Home and School Institute (HSI), MegaSkills Education Center, 1201 Sixteenth Street NW, Washington, DC 20036; and on the MegaSkills book and program.

Text Notes The Basics The following are among the studies that provide documentation for the text material in this publication. Up-to-date research on the family's role in education is not easy to find in popularly accessible libraries, even in bookstores. Selected below are some of the more easily found sources. For those interested in more information on these and other studies in the field, it can be helpful to check with university and other school libraries as well as with the Office of Educational Research and Improvement (OERI) of the U.S. Department of Education. Where Our Children Learn Benjamin Bloom, (1981). All Our Children Learning. New York: McGraw Hill. Reginald Clark, (1983). Family Life and School Achievement. Chicago: University of Chicago Press. Alan Ginsburg and Sandra Hanson, (1988). Gaining Ground: Values and High School Success. Washington., D.C.: U.S. Department of Education. Dorothy Rich, (1985). The Forgotten Factor in School Success: The Family. Washington, D.C.: Home and School Institute. S.G. Timmer et al., (1984). "How Children Use Time" in Time, Goods, and Well Being. Ann Arbor: Institute for Social Research. University of Michigan. James Coleman, (1991). Parental Involvement in Education. Washington, D.C.: U.S. Department of Education. James Comer, (1988). "Educating Poor, Minority Children." Scientific American, 259:42-48. Ann Henderson, Editor, (1987). The Evidence Continues to Grow: Parent Involvement Improves Student Achievement. Columbia, Md.: National Committee for Citizens in Education. Lynn Balster Liontos, (1992). At Risk Families and Schools: Becoming Partners. Eugene, Ore.: University of Oregon, ERIC Clearinghouse on Educational Management. National Commission on Children, (1992). Beyond Rhetoric: A New American Agenda for Children and Families. Washington, D.C. What Our Children Learn From Us Joyce Epstein, Editor, (1991). "Parent Involvement" (Special Section). KAPPAN 72. Educational Testing Service, (1989). Crossroads in American Education. Princeton, N.J.: National Assessment of Educational Progress. Robert Hess et al., (1987). "Cultural Variations in Socialization for School Achievement." Journal of Applied Developmental Psychology 8. A.M. Pallas et al., (1987). "Children Who Do Exceptionally Well in First Grade." Sociology of Education 60. Dorothy Rich, (1988, 1992). MegaSkills In School and In Life: The Best Girl You Can Give Your Child. Boston: Houghton Mifflin. Herbert J. Walberg, (1984). "Families as Partners in Educational Productivity." KAPPAN 65. How Our Children Learn From Us Educational Testing Service, (1989). A World of Differences: An International Assessment of Mathematics and Science. Princeton, N.J.: National Assessment of Educational Progress. L. M. Laosa, (1980). "Maternal Teaching Strategies in Chicano and Anglo-American Families: The Influence of Culture and Education on Maternal Behavior." Child Development 51. Harold Stevenson and James Stigler, (1992). The Learning Gap. New York: Summit Books. U.S. Department of Education, (1986). What Works: Research About Teaching and Learning. "Activities" Notes All of the activities in this section have been adapted from the following copyrighted home learning activity programs of The Home and School Institute (HSI), MegaSkills Education Center. Learning is Homegrown, developed for First Tennessee Bank. MegaSkills Workshop Program, HSI National Training Initiative. Project ADD (Alexandria's Dynamic Duo), developed for Alexandria City, Va. Public Schools. Project PACT (Parents and Children Together), developed for Arlington County, Va. Public Schools. Parents and the Schools All of the material in this section has been adapted from The Parents Q and A Library, a copyrighted program developed by The Home and School Institute under a grant from The Work in America Institute.

Acknowledgments

The following people were kind enough to review this book:

Dale Boatright and Lyn Klosowski, American Federation of Teachers; Joyce L. Epstein, Center on Families, Communities, Schools, and Children's Learning; Susan Hlesciak Hall, National Committee for Citizens in Education; Patricia Henry, President, and Catherine Belter, National PTA; Oliver C. Moles, Office of Research, Office of Educational Research and Improvement, U. S. Department of Education; Paula Moser, Consumer Information Center; Catherine Peterson, Capitol Hill Day School.

Special thanks to Leo and Diane Dillon for their advice on how to work with illustrators.

Dorothy Rich, Ed.D., is the founder and president of the Home and School Institute in Washington, D.C. She has been designing programs for families and teachers since 1964, and is the author of MegaSkills In School and In Life: The Best Gift You Can Give Your Child. Ms. Rich is a recognized expert on family learning and literacy. She developed the MegaSkills Workshops for parents now sponsored by school systems and businesses in 40 states, and the Classroom Management Through MegaSkills training program for teachers. She also designed "New Partnerships for Student Achievement" under a grant from the MacArthur Foundation; has served on the National Assessment Governing Board; has testified before the U.S. Senate and the National Governors' Association; and consults with state and local school systems and business groups nationally and internationally.

Betty MacDonald has studied at the Art Students League and The Chinese Institute in New York, and at Columbia University. She has won numerous awards and is in Who's Who in American Art. Her work has been exhibited throughout the United States and the world in such places as Italy, Brazil, the former Soviet Union, Kenya, Niger, and Botswana. Ms. MacDonald's art is in the permanent collections of several museums including the National Museum of American History (Smithsonian Institution), the National Museum of Women in the Arts, and the Library of Congress in Washington, D.C.; and the Museum of Modern Art, Buenos Aires, Argentina. She has taught many courses for the Smithsonian Institution.

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